Episode 12: Vampire Weekend

[SCENE I. KELLY’s bedroom. It’s a bit of a mess, decorated with various band posters–mostly some of the more obvious indie bands, a-la the Decemberists, Death Cab for Cutie, etc–and has an easel in the corner. She is sleeping uneasily, tossing and turning. It is a clear night, and the cold light of the waning crescent moon is shining in through the window. Eventually she gets up and walks over to the window, flinging it open to let in some air. There is a VAMPIRE in silhouette at the window. She doesn’t seem to notice. She stands, basking in the cool breeze, for a moment before returning back towards her bed. The VAMPIRE tries to get in, but finds the window too small. After an awkward moment of struggle, he speaks.]

VAMPIRE: Do you think maybe you could open it wider?

KELLY: (Too asleep to think about what’s going on.) Can’t you just try the front door?

VAMPIRE: Very well. (Hypno-eyes.) If you’d just go downstairs and open the door for me. (He vanishes from the window.)

(KELLY mechanically rises and walks downstairs and opens the door. The VAMPIRE stands just outside the threshold. He is tall and dressed in evening dress and a cape–traditionally vampiric, complete with widow’s peak etc.)

KELLY: Um, if you’re here to see my parents–

VAMPIRE: I’m not here to see your parents.

KELLY: Well, Nicholas is also–

VAMPIRE: Nor him. I am here for you. (Hypno-eyes.) Won’t you come away?

(As he turns to depart, KELLY follows him mechanically into the cold night, barefoot and wearing pajamas.)

 

[SCENE II. KELLY’s house, the following evening, sometime after dark. NICHOLAS is returning home with GAVIN in tow.]

NICHOLAS: It turns out, they were just nursing a wounded owl back to health.

GAVIN: I worry about that girl. No one should have that much crazy going on.

NICHOLAS: Yeah.

(They settle down in the living room.)

GAVIN: Is your sister around? I have something for her.

NICHOLAS: I dunno, probably. I’ll check. (He heads upstairs.) Kelly! (He knocks on her door once, waits a bit, knocks again, then cringes slightly as he opens her door as tentatively as possible. Once inside, he spots the cell phone on the nightstand and looks it over with a frown. Then he heads back downstairs.) She’s not here. And she left her cell phone.

GAVIN: Ah well, it’s not that important. Just something of Celeste’s I’ve been looking after.

NICHOLAS: (Not listening.) She left her phone, Gavin. I don’t think she’s ever done that willingly.

GAVIN: I’d never willingly leave home without my keys, but I’ve come in through the window more times than I’d care to admit. I’m sure she’s fine.

NICHOLAS: I don’t know . . .

GAVIN: Well, try calling some people she might be with, if it worries you.

(NICHOLAS sighs and starts making some phone calls.)

NICHOLAS: John? (Pause.) Hey, this is Nick. (Pause.) Um, Kelly’s brother. I was wondering if she’s–(Pause.) She’s not with you, then? (Pause.) Thanks anyway. See you. (Hangs up.) Celeste is still the dark queen of the fairies, right?

GAVIN: (Darkly.) As far as I know.

NICHOLAS: I’m not really sure who else there is. I mean–

GAVIN: Try Melissa?

NICHOLAS: Melissa?

GAVIN: You know, tall, curly hair, you’ve been in love with her since middle school–

NICHOLAS: I know who she is. Why would she be with Melissa?

(GAVIN gives NICHOLAS a look.)

NICHOLAS: (Sighs.) Fine. (Makes the call.)

MELISSA: Hello?

NICHOLAS: Melissa, hi, it’s Nick.

MELISSA: What do you want?

NICHOLAS: I was, uh, wondering if my sister was with you.

MELISSA: Why would she be?

NICHOLAS: I asked myself the same question.

GAVIN: (Stage whisper.) Ask if she’s with Sarah.

NICHOLAS: Sarah with you?

MELISSA: She is. Melina is also here, since you seem to be interested in who I’m with right now.

NICHOLAS: Right. Sorry to have bothered you.

MELISSA: You should be. (She hangs up.)

NICHOLAS: She’s not with Melissa, either. (Sighs.) Maybe I’m a bad brother. I should know this sort of thing.

GAVIN: You’re not your sister’s keeper, Nick. Don’t worry about it.

NICHOLAS: (Beat.) I know you’re trying to be comforting, but that’s kind of the line Cain used right after he’d murdered his brother, so–

GAVIN: Sorry.

NICHOLAS: I don’t know what to do.

(A long pause.)

GAVIN: (Reluctantly.) I can call up the wizard.

NICHOLAS: Not following you.

GAVIN: Well, if we call with an object that’s important to her–her cell phone–he can use the link to scry on her location, and then send the picture or video or whatever.

NICHOLAS: He can do that?

GAVIN: Yes! It’s so cool. Go fetch her phone, would you?

NICHOLAS: Yeah, all right. (He runs upstairs and quickly returns with KELLY’s cell phone, which he hands to GAVIN.)

GAVIN: All right. Check this out. (Makes the phone call, consulting his cell phone for the WIZARD’s number.)

WIZARD: Gavin, my friend!

GAVIN: Mr. Wizard! I have a favor to ask.

WIZARD: Of course. Is this why you’re calling from an unusual phone?

GAVIN: Yeah. It’s my friend Nick’s sister’s phone. Kelly Hayes. He’s worried about her and we can’t find her.

WIZARD: Say no more. Just let me get my crystal ball. (He walks into another room and sits down in front of a large plasma screen.) The cell phone is important to her?

GAVIN: Nick says she’d never willingly leave home without it.

WIZARD: Very good. (He begins casting a spell. The image on the plasma screen begins to focus–it goes from a blank screen to a swirling maelstrom to images of trees, blurring past very quickly. Cut back to GAVIN.) Oh dear. I’m going to send you the image and its coordinates. I think young Kelly might be in grave danger.

GAVIN: All right. Thanks for your help, my friend.

WIZARD: Any time. Good luck. (Hangs up.)

NICHOLAS: Any luck?

GAVIN: He’s sending the image right now. (His phone beeps. He opens it and looks at it, then grimaces and hands it to NICHOLAS.)

(The image is of KELLY at a remote house in the woods, paying rapt attention to the VAMPIRE–he is standing and talking, and she is staring at him as if she has never encountered someone more attractive.)

NICHOLAS: Is that a vampire?

GAVIN: I think so. (His phone beeps again.) That’ll be the coordinates. I think it’s time for stakes and garlic, if you’ve got any.

NICHOLAS: Garlic, yes. Stakes, no.

GAVIN: We’ll make some. Time is of the essence.

 

[SCENE III. The VAMPIRE’s lair. A sunproof cottage in the middle of the woods.]

KELLY: But I want you to make me a vampire now!

VAMPIRE: Patience, my pet. We wait for the new moon tomorrow night.

KELLY: (Sighs.) I just wish I understood why.

VAMPIRE: You will, my pet. You will.

(Fin.)

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