Episode 28: Where Have All The Flowers Gone?

[SCENE I. MELISSA and SARAH’s house. CELESTE, SARAH, and MELISSA are in SARAH’s room, which is still overgrown with flowers.]

CELESTE: And you didn’t, say, eat anything you found in the forest?

MELISSA: I ate everything she did.

SARAH: Well, except for the mushrooms.

MELISSA: What mushrooms?

SARAH: Before we left I went out wandering and saw this patch of mushrooms and thought ‘hey, what the hell?’ and ate a couple. Didn’t I tell you?

MELISSA: You did not.

SARAH: Well, you were asleep. They were actually quite tasty! I was going to offer you some but I ate them all before you woke up. And then I forgot.

CELESTE: And then you just left?

MELISSA: Pretty much. Packed up and left when I woke up.

CELESTE: Anything unusual about the ride home?

MELISSA: Not really.

CELESTE: She wasn’t acting unusual?

MELISSA: Not that I noticed. But, I mean, how would I tell?

SARAH: Why are you so mean?

CELESTE: Did you feel unusual?

SARAH: No! I mean, I felt like partying, but I thought maybe–

CELESTE: We have to get you back to the forest. The only way to break this curse is to party harder than you have ever partied before.

MELISSA: What the hell kind of a curse is that?

SARAH: Seriously.

CELESTE: Look, just do it. Get some friends together and have a wild party in the middle of the woods tomorrow night. Surely you can’t object to that.

MELISSA: I don’t like partying under duress, Gotharella. It goes against all that is good and holy.

CELESTE: Really?

MELISSA: Nah, I’m just fucking with you. You want to come?

CELESTE: I, uh. Sure.

MELISSA: Great. See you there. (She gets up and heads for the door.)

SARAH: Where are you going?

MELISSA: I’ve got a party to plan. (She departs.)


[SCENE II. NICHOLAS’s house. NICHOLAS is sitting on the couch with CHARLOTTE when MELISSA knocks at the door.]

MELISSA: Nicholas! Open up! This is important!

(NICHOLAS sighs and get up to answer the door.)

NICHOLAS: What do you wantnow?

MELISSA: Is that any way to greet a friend?

NICHOLAS: What makes you think we’re friends?

MELISSA: (Through gritted teeth.) It’s very important that you and Charlotte join us in the woods tomorrow for an unnecessarily wild party.

NICHOLAS: What? Why?

MELISSA: Just come. Bring your sister, too.

NICHOLAS: I already made dinner plans–

CHARLOTTE: I’d like to go, Nick!(She rises and joins him at the door.)Thank you for thinking of me, Mel!

MELISSA: Don’t–it’s, ah, Melissa. Not Mel.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, I’m sorry.

MELISSA: No, no. You weren’t to know.

CHARLOTTE: We can cancel our reservations, Nick.

NICHOLAS: Okay, but why the short notice?

MELISSA: Strike while the iron is hot! So you’ll be there?

NICHOLAS: I guess, but–

MELISSA: Great! See you there. (She departs.)

NICHOLAS: That woman keeps finding new ways to confuse me.

CHARLOTTE: I don’t think that’s hard, dear.


[SCENE III. GAVIN’s house. He is playing some form of video game with JEREMY. MELISSA enters without knocking and sits down between them, crossing GAVIN’s field of view. GAVIN gives out a cry of annoyance, as JEREMY lets forth a victorious yell.]

GAVIN: That wasn’t fair. I got blindsided by your Greek accomplice.

MELISSA: I’m nobody’s accomplice.

GAVIN: I want a rematch.

MELISSA: Can I play?

GAVIN: I think that would defeat the purpose of a rematch.

JEREMY: I get tired of beating you all the time, Gav. Let her join.

GAVIN: Very well, but I do this under protest.

(MELISSA grabs a controller. They start playing.)

MELISSA: So, while I’ve got you both here, I was hoping to ask you something.

GAVIN: (Distracted, not really paying attention.) Mm?

MELISSA: I’m throwing a little party tomorrow in the middle of the woods and I want you to join us.

GAVIN: Really.

MELISSA: Well, I say little. It should actually be pretty intense.

GAVIN: Uh-huh.

MELISSA: Bonfires. Booze.

GAVIN: That’s great.

MELISSA: (Smirking.) Dancing naked in the light of the moon.

GAVIN: I–what? (He looks over at her, losing focus on the game.) Damn it!

MELISSA: Sorry, I didn’t mean to kill you.

JEREMY: That was beautiful.

GAVIN: That was cheating!

MELISSA: But you’ll be there?

GAVIN: I wouldn’t miss a genuine Xenakis party.

MELISSA: Jeremy?

JEREMY: You said free booze, right?


JEREMY: Do you even need to ask?

MELISSA: I knew I could count on you. (Beat.) Feel free to invite anyone else excellent you can think of. Tomorrow night. This is going to be a party worth talking about.

JEREMY: I can hardly–hey!

MELISSA: You boys aren’t very good at this game. (She rises and departs.)

(A long silence follows.)

JEREMY: Another round?

GAVIN: I think I’ve lost my will to fight.


[SCENE IV. MELISSA and SARAH’s house. SARAH is on the couch, wrapped up in blankets, when MELISSA returns home, singing loudly to herself.]

MELISSA: I’ve still got it, small!

SARAH: I didn’t know you thought you’d lost it. (Beat.) What’s “it”?

MELISSA: Tomorrow night is going to be the best party ever. We’ll kick that curse’s ass.

SARAH: I don’t really feel like partying. I mostly feel like curling up and dying.

MELISSA: Fight it! You’ve got to party so hard the trees are jealous!

SARAH: That doesn’t even make sense.

MELISSA: I’m doing this for you, small friend.


[SCENE V. Somewhere in the middle of the woods. CELESTE and MELISSA are preparing a large bonfire in the middle of a clearing. SARAH is sitting on a log, surrounded by overgrown flowers, looking miserable.]

MELISSA: Normally I’d ask how you found such a perfect spot, but–

CELESTE: Turns out being the queen of the goblins has its perks.

MELISSA: Now, we just have to wait for our guests.

(Guests begin arriving as the night wears on–eventually the bonfire is ablaze, a drum circle is going, and the clearing is filled with revelers, drinking, laughing, dancing, making out, etc. SARAH remains idle around the fringes, watching unhappily. MELISSA detaches herself from the party, drink in hand, and stops by.)

MELISSA: You do not appear to be partying, small friend.

SARAH: I’ve never had a drunken forest revel in my honor before! It’s weird!

MELISSA: It’s also important, probably! (Beat.) All right, here’s what we’ll do. (She hands over her drink.) Drink this.



(SARAH downs the cup. MELISSA seizes another from a passer-by and hands it to her.)

MELISSA: Now, I will dance with you myself if I have to.

SARAH: I thought you hated dancing.

MELISSA: I do! Do you see the sacrifices I’m making for you?

(She grabs SARAH and begins to dance. SARAH reluctantly follows along, flowers springing up in her wake. Eventually she gets into the spirit, such as it is, and joins the party, flowers still springing up in her wake–but she looks lively now, and the more she dances the more the party seems to focus on her, until there are flowers everywhere. The flowers begin to glow impossibly brightly and then vanish with a blinding flash. The revelers appear to have all passed out in the wake of the flowers’ disappearance, leaving only CELESTE and MELISSA standing. The bonfire, which was previously burning brightly, has all but burned out.)

CELESTE: They’ll be out till morning. All they’ll remember is a great party.

MELISSA: Shouldn’t I be a victim of your weird goblin flower magic, too?

CELESTE: Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Something is protecting you.

MELISSA: Ah. (Beat.) So, want to dance naked in the moonlight?

CELESTE: There’s no moon.

MELISSA: The firelight, then?

CELESTE: That fire is pretty weak.

MELISSA: Are you saying you don’t want to get naked with me?

CELESTE: That is what I’m saying.

MELISSA: Is it because I’m immune to your goblin flower magic?

CELESTE: Yes, that must be it. Well done.

MELISSA: Not even partial nudity? I’m happy to keep it PG-13. And I don’t even mean Titanic PG-13, so–

CELESTE: Shut up, Melissa.



One comment on “Episode 28: Where Have All The Flowers Gone?

  1. liezl says:

    Thank you for continuously writing stories in your blog. I have followed your works since then and they have always inspired me 🙂

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